» http://clientsfromhell.net/post/79753751756/while-working-on-an-international-music-event-the


While working on an international music event, the client called to ask if we could make an alteration to one of the headline acts promo materials.

Me: What’s the issue? Have you changed the act?

Client: No, we just don’t think he looks right on the background.

Me: Do you have another…

» http://clientsfromhell.net/post/83914574146/client-hi-im-looking-for-someone-to-design-a


Client: Hi, I’m looking for someone to design a website for my company. Is that something you do?

Me: Sure, do you already have a domain name?

Client: Yes, do you have a pen?

Me: I’m actually at the computer right now.

Client: Okay, it’s H as in Howard.

Me: Uh-huh…

Client: T as in…


Me: “What browser are you on?”

Client: “Google.”

Me: “Google Chrome?”

Client: “No, just regular Google.”

Me: “That’s the site. I want to know the browser.”

Client: “Google.”

Me: “No.”

Client: “Look, we can have this conversation forever, man. But when I hit the internet logo, Google comes up!”

Me: “Okay…What does that “internet logo” look like?

Client: “…A fiery fox, I guess. But that’s irrelevant.”


you’re hired


“I moved here from Jamaica when I was six, and my accent was so bad that I had to spend two years in ESL classes before anyone could understand me. I remember feeling very frustrated. I was surrounded by people with really thick accents who were trying to tell me that I needed to get rid of my accent.”


“I’ve done a lot of whacked out shit for money.”


Seen in Jamaica, Queens.


"She wanted to wear her Hello Kitty dress. So we compromised."


“We fled Germany on November 9th, 1938. It was called the Crystal Night, because there were demonstrations against Jews all over Germany, and many windows were being broken. We were living on the outskirts of Hanover. When my father came home from work that night, he told us that the synagogue was on fire, and that firemen were standing in a ring around it to prevent the flames from spreading to other buildings. He said: ‘We’re getting out of here.’”


“We fled to the Philippines, which was under American occupation at the time. But it wasn’t long before the Japanese took over the islands. We were living in Manila, and when the Japanese occupied the city, they began to teach us to read and write Japanese. When the Americans came to retake the city, they invaded from the north, and the Japanese blew up the bridges and barricaded themselves in the southern part of the city where we lived. Shells were falling all around us, because the Japanese had stationed a gun encampment across from our house. One morning, we decided to make a run for the hospital, so that we could put ourselves under the protection of the Red Cross. Our neighbors were running in front of us, pushing their belongings on a pushcart, when they stepped on a land mine and the whole family was killed. We kept running, but when we got to the main street, there was a checkpoint and we weren’t allowed to cross. So we hid beneath a house, and soon we were discovered by Japanese soldiers. They lined us all up against the wall to be executed. We begged and begged and begged for our lives. They finally allowed my mother and the children to step aside, but they told my father to stay. My mother dropped to her knees and asked the Japanese commander to imagine it was his family. And he finally let all of us go.”


"You stopped a live one today, honey. I’m an international cougar!"


“You’re not going to believe this. Some guy is taking my picture right now, says he’s gonna put it on some website. I swear to God. I swear to God!”


“Some aches and pains, but I’m enjoying being eighty. It’s not nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be. I underestimated the pleasures of an unstructured life.”



heard u talkin shit like i wouldnt find out